Elsie Pie and Me

I was feeling really down today and missing Pie, so Mum said, ‘I know, how about we take a look through the photos and find all the ones of you and Pie together, then maybe you can share them with our Tripawds friends.’

I thought that was a pretty stupid suggestion, to be perfectly honest with you. ‘Won’t that just make me feel worse?’ I said. ‘How’s looking at photos going to help? It’s not going to bring Pie back, is it?’

‘No,’ said Mum. ‘Not physically. But it will bring back lots of memories and although they might make you feel sad, I think they might make you feel happy too.’

‘So how does that work, Mum?’ I said. ‘Happy and sad are opposites. You can’t be both together.’

‘Just come and look through them, Meg,’ said Mum. ‘Come and sit on my lap,’ So I did.


This was my first day with Elsie and Mum. New Year’s Day 2010. They found me on New Year’s Eve

Mum took us to Wales because she said I was a nightmare in London. Apparently, I was a nightmare in Wales too.


Elsie and Mum took me on my first ever trip to the beach


Elsie taught me loads of stuff. Mostly she taught me it was okay to be happy.

She was always pretty chatty

This is us when we first moved to Norfolk. Pie and I enjoyed exploring together.

This was us that time Mum served our dinner five minutes late

And when she told us she was going to be away for our birthday, and Pie and I staged a sit-in protest

And here we are in the MegaWagon. Else wanted to call it the PieMobile, but MegaWagon sounded better

In Pie I had a friend for all seasons.

A partner in humiliation

And a physio buddy too

She was also perfect just to chill with. I hate that empty space on the sofa

This is us listening to a play on the radio

And Pie made a perfect footrest

This was just last Autumn, when we went to see my Auntie and Uncle in Bristol

And this is maybe the last one of the two of us together. Mum says it totally cracks her up. Why? I said. Well just look at you both! she said. 

‘Do you see, Meg?’ said Mum when we’d finished looking, and she was smiling at me, but there were tears in her eyes. ‘You can be happy and sad together.’

‘Yes, Mum,’ I said. ‘I do.’

Let it Snow!

Guess what! It snowed!!!!!! And Elsie and I had LOADS of fun and I thought you’d maybe like to see some pics.

I couldn’t believe how beautiful the world looked covered in snow.

But you can’t just stand looking,  you got to get in there, make the most of every flake.

Else was pretty wowed as well. Wowed for a Pie, that is.

Come on, I said, let’s have a game, and she did, cos snow turns us all into pups again.

Then I stopped, cause I picked up the scent of a deer….

I won’t be a minute, I said….

And okay, so maybe it was very slightly longer, but who’s checking their watch on a day like this? ‘Chillax, Mum,’ I said, cos she got a bit stroppy. I’d been five minutes max, maybe ten… okay, twenty at the most. ‘I got my carriage haven’t I?’ ‘That is not the point!’ she says to me, which I’d like to know what the point is then, unless it’s that I need a sleigh so I can pretend like I’m Dr Zhivago.

The snow was gone by Christmas, but I’ve got everything crossed we’ll get more soon, and meantime we got our presents to play with. Can you guess which one’s whose?

Mum Stole my Blog!

It’s not like I’m bothered, right, I’m just saying. I mean, the clue’s in the title: My life as a MEG-A-STAR. Is Mum a MegaStar? She is not. Is Else a MegaStar? What do you think? And then, right, not only does Mum “borrow” my blog, without even asking (seriously), but all she does is go on about Elsie, like the whole world doesn’t know already it’s Elsie’s 10th birthday, yeah big deal. And she never hardly mentions me at all* , and actually I’d just like to point out that it was actually my birthday too, actually, my official one, which I share with Elsie, cos no one knows when I was born, not that it makes any difference cos nobody gives a damn, clearly. It’s not like I’m bothered, but I was 9 yesterday, and I’m just saying 9 is much better than 10, objectively speaking, it’s just a much nicer number, compact and with better curves.

Honestly, you’d think the world had stopped turning for Elsie Pie’s 10th birthday (yawn!). And in case you were wondering, really it didn’t, and there’s been loads of other stuff happening like the sugar beet harvest, and rabbits in the garden, and other stuff too, which I’ll tell you about, and like yesterday, right, Mum even let Elsie wear Billie’s collar, which is this very special handmade collar – black velvet with all pearls sewn on – which our Auntie Juliet made for Billie’s 10th birthday, and no-one’s ever worn it since, cos then Billie died, and do you know what I’m saying, it’s not like I’m bothered, it’s just I’m the MegaStar, right?

*and what she does say isn’t even accurate. ‘Mextrovert’ Is that even a word? ‘Behavioural issues’??? Well they certainly weren’t mine!

Here’s the evidence. I’m just saying, like, objectively speaking, black velvet would look better against red.