First things first, it’s Mum’s fault not mine that I haven’t updated my blog for so long. Seriously, I’ve been on and on at her. I’m like, ‘I need the computer, Mum. Come on!’ ‘In a minute, Meg,’ she says, and like nine months later, do you know what I’m saying! I’m like, ‘Mum, I got fans need to know what I’m up to.’ ‘Meg,’ she says. ‘Stop pestering me. I’ll let you have it in a minute.’ I’m like, ‘Whatever!’ Seriously, she got no idea about sharing.
So now I got LOADS to update you on, which mainly I reckon I’ll show you the pics, cos you know how they say like a picture tells a thousand words, and there’s no way I’ll have time to type all that, even with my paw flying so fast it’s like blurrrrr, before she kicks me off again.
First though, just quickly, I got to tell you about my new doctor, which Mum insists on calling her The Three-legged Vet, but I prefer her official title of Personal Physician to the MegaStar. Anyway, she just happened to be covering in our local vets one day when I called in for a health check, and when I come hopping in, she was like really happy, which people usually are to be perfectly honest but turns out there’s more to it, cos she told me and Mum that she used to have a three-legged dog when she was a kid, and in fact that’s why she become a vet cos she wanted her dog to live forever, which she lived to nineteen, which ain’t forever, but you got to agree it ain’t a bad innings neither. And turns out when she was at Vet school she done her dissertation on the gait of three-legged dogs and they give her a distinction for it, and basically her whole career has been one long preparation for the role of personal physician to the MegaStar, so no surprises she was so happy when I come hopping in.
So she’s called Dr Charlotte and now she sees us every three months, and this is my regimen she got me on, in case you’re interested, which Mum says you might be, which I can’t see why except for that’s how it is when you’re a MegaStar, they want to know every detail. This is for my arthritis in my elbow and foot, and I also have acupuncture and laser every two weeks at the moment cos of the cold and damp, which Mum says is bankrupting her and I’m like ‘Well let’s move somewhere warm then.’
So, every day I take:
and also Dasuquin and fish oil.
And next month I’ll have been three years on three, and when they said I never could, which just goes to show why a MegaStar needs her own Personal Physician, make sure nobody ain’t never tempted to underestimate her again.
In November, the MegaStar’s TENTH BIRTHDAY was marked by celebrations across the globe. This was our private one, at home. If you look close, you can see the cake’s got eleven candles. That’s cos my tenth birthday was also Pie’s eleventh, and we lit one for her, so she was celebrating with us.
So this is how the MegaStar spends her days…
We go for lovely long walks in the forest…
And I check out the squirrels…
Before going for a swim…
If it’s nice, I’ll relax for a while on a bench…
Then home for a snooze by the fire…
I like to keep the MegaBrain active, so Mum gave me a Dog Sudoku for Christmas. I’m like ‘Dog Sudoku? DOG Sudoku???!!! What other sort of Sudoku is there!’
Mostly Mum listens to what I tell her
Don’t be cheeky, Meg, she says.
But I know she loves me really, cos who could resist!
On Saturday, it will be a whole year since Pie left us. Sometimes, when I’m missing her really badly, I lie with my head on Pie’s gorilla. It still smells of her, and if I listen really hard I can hear her talking to me. Mum says I’m imagining it, but I’m not.
So now I better go before Mum starts on at me for hogging the computer. I wouldn’t put it past her, seriously. And I bet she blames me as well, just saying, for how long it’s been since I last updated, I bet she does, do you know what I’m saying, well at least you know th…. alright, I’m stopping now… I AM!… ALRIGHT!!!
Word has reached Pie Palace of the impending nuptials between an American actress and a British prince, in the light of which it has found it necessary to release the following statement:
There is only one Princess Meg.
Pie Palace will not be commenting further on this matter.
‘Meg,’ says Mum, one day, like out of the blue, ‘Do you fancy a holiday?’ ‘Course,’ I said, like stupid question. ‘Course I fancy a holiday…’ ‘Well,’ she says, ‘guess what, your Auntie Lisa has invited us up to Scotland.’ ‘Scotland! I said, and I’m like, ‘Whereabouts…’ but before I can finish, ‘It’s up North above England,’ she says, which is like the most patronisingist thing ever, and that’s saying something I’m telling you. ‘I know where Scotland is,’ I said. ‘ I was asking whereabouts in Scotland, like Edinburgh, or Inverness or the Hebrides or where…’ and I rolled my eyes, cause everyone knows I’m far better at geography than she is, like millions gazillions better; she can’t even find the front door half the time. ‘Glasgow,’ she says, ‘which is where Lisa lives, and then we’re all going to go to the Isle of Bute, which is where Auntie Lisa comes from.’ ‘You going to explain what an isle is?’ I said, but I couldn’t keep the hump up long cause I was too excited about our holiday.
We left very early cos Glasgow is a long way to drive, but it was fun cos we got to stop at lots of service stations, and I love service stations:
When we got to Glasgow, I found the buildings were all built of sandstone, which is red like me.
Auntie Lisa had cooked a roast chicken dinner to welcome us, and I got to sit at the table and everything:
Next day we went to Loch Lomond, and I had the best time ever.
Here I am, swimming in the loch:
Are you looking Mum?
Loch Lomond was fab. I did loads of playing:
Just once I got a bit sad because of how much Pie would have loved it there, and this was our first holiday without her. Mum knew I was sad. Just listen, she said, can’t you hear her voice in the wind?
And then she gave me cuddles
And I taught Auntie Lisa how to throw my bally just the way I like it:
I was quite tired by the time we got back to Glasgow, and Mum says I’m never tired, or hardly ever:
Next day we went to the Isle of Bute. We missed the ferry:
But that was okay, cos there was another one.
This is me on the ferry:
I’d never been on a ferry before, and Mum said I was “surprisingly good”, which is a backhanded compliment if ever I heard one, but a compliment’s a compliment, I’ll take it…
The Isle of Bute was beautiful.
I did more swimming:
And I went to a ruined chapel, which was nearly 1000 years old:
On our last day in Glasgow, we went to the Clyde, and walked along past the old shipyards. I felt like Queen Meg in my chariot:
It was the best holiday except for it was too short. I couldn’t hardly believe it when Mum said we had to go home next morning. But we only just got here! I said.
And then we drove all the way back home and it took even longer than on the way cos Mum got lost. Her geography, uh-oh, I’m telling you…
I was feeling really down today and missing Pie, so Mum said, ‘I know, how about we take a look through the photos and find all the ones of you and Pie together, then maybe you can share them with our Tripawds friends.’
I thought that was a pretty stupid suggestion, to be perfectly honest with you. ‘Won’t that just make me feel worse?’ I said. ‘How’s looking at photos going to help? It’s not going to bring Pie back, is it?’
‘No,’ said Mum. ‘Not physically. But it will bring back lots of memories and although they might make you feel sad, I think they might make you feel happy too.’
‘So how does that work, Mum?’ I said. ‘Happy and sad are opposites. You can’t be both together.’
‘Just come and look through them, Meg,’ said Mum. ‘Come and sit on my lap,’ So I did.
This was my first day with Elsie and Mum. New Year’s Day 2010. They found me on New Year’s Eve
Mum took us to Wales because she said I was a nightmare in London. Apparently, I was a nightmare in Wales too.
Elsie and Mum took me on my first ever trip to the beach
Elsie taught me loads of stuff. Mostly she taught me it was okay to be happy.
She was always pretty chatty
This is us when we first moved to Norfolk. Pie and I enjoyed exploring together.
This was us that time Mum served our dinner five minutes late
And when she told us she was going to be away for our birthday, and Pie and I staged a sit-in protest
And here we are in the MegaWagon. Else wanted to call it the PieMobile, but MegaWagon sounded better
In Pie I had a friend for all seasons.
A partner in humiliation
And a physio buddy too
She was also perfect just to chill with. I hate that empty space on the sofa
This is us listening to a play on the radio
And Pie made a perfect footrest
This was just last Autumn, when we went to see my Auntie and Uncle in Bristol
And this is maybe the last one of the two of us together. Mum says it totally cracks her up. Why? I said. Well just look at you both! she said.
‘Do you see, Meg?’ said Mum when we’d finished looking, and she was smiling at me, but there were tears in her eyes. ‘You can be happy and sad together.’
‘Yes, Mum,’ I said. ‘I do.’