Blooming Outrageous!

Now, I am certain that anyone who knows me would agree that I am an extremely patient and obliging Megastar. I accept Mum as she is, with her many strange ways (and some of them are very strange) without raising so much as an eyebrow. I do my physio, swallow my meds, I was even okay with them taking my leg. ‘Have it,’ I said. ‘No problem. I’ve got three more.’ But today…. well, today a line was crossed. Today… I can hardly bring myself to say it… today, you’re not going to believe this, she trimmed my bloomers!!! ‘You’re too hot!’ she said. ‘I’m stylish,’ I said. ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ she said (like I’m the one being ridiculous!) ‘You’re far too hot!’ ‘I’m fine!’ I said, but she wasn’t having any of it. ‘You cannot wear bloomers in this heat,’ she said, ‘and especially not with three legs,’ she said. Like rub it in why don’t you!

Well you’d think, wouldn’t you, at the very least, she’d have taken me to a salon. I actually thought she’d maybe arrange for a personal stylist to call at my home. Oh no, she takes out a pair of scissors, and before I could even roll onto my back, she just starts hacking away. I cannot begin to describe the scene of total devastation. My beautiful bloomers all over the lawn. And just in case anyone doesn’t believe me (I grant you it is pretty hard to believe) here’s the photographic evidence.

Suffice to say that Mum and I are no longer on speaking terms.

IMG_2247 (1)


Better watch out, Elsie! She’ll be coming for you next.


6 thoughts on “Blooming Outrageous!”

  1. Forgive me Meg, but I’M LAUGHING SO HARD I HAVE TEARS….HAPPY TEARS!!!! This is hysterical!!

    You have the sympathy of all of us here! What a horrible thing for you to have ro endure!!

    Your expression says it all! DISGUSTED!! And we feel your “angst”!

    But you know what? You still look GORGEOUS!!! And look at it thjs way, rhe next time you are FORCED to do a weigh in, you will have lost more weight without some of your bloomies!!

    It looks like Elsie shares in your disgust of what your human has done. She seems to think that if she lays as flat ro the ground as she can, she can hide from the scissors!

    You made my day ‘Meg! MADE MY DAY!!!!


    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

    1. Thank you for your sympathy. I’m glad you got a laugh out of it anyway. That’s something, I suppose. The only pawsitive I can find is that I can’t turn round far enough to see my rear end in the mirror.

  2. LMAO!!! You win the internet today! That is hilarious!!!! So funny!!!

    You are still beautiful, Meg! But seriously… laughing over here. Out loud. And loudly!!!

    Bloomers!!! You must be Brittish!

    Alison with Spirit Shelby in her Heart

    1. I never realised ‘bloomers’ was a British thing. ‘Two nations divided by a common language’, as they say…
      Thank you for laughing… I guess it’s all there’s left for me to do. I’m not letting Mum see though. I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth.

  3. Oh Meg, I can so sympathize with you! Each Summer my crazy 2 leggers shave all of us as well! Not only is it a bit humiliating but the boy 2 legger thinks we look great when he leaves it a little longer on our backs so it looks like a freakin mowhawk! I do think though that you are still beautiful and look at it this way it is just hair and it always grows back only for the 2 leggers to shave it off again! Hugs to you from Patchy!

    1. OMD! OMD! OMD! I got a message from Patchy! I am trying so hard to be cool but really I am blushing from nose to tail! Patchy you are such a handsome boy! Else and I have been admiring you from afar. And hugs as well!! I know you’ll look handsome mohawk or no mohawk. OMD! Wait until I tell Elsie!

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