So next week is the most important week so far in my whole life ever. On Monday I get to be eight years old, which is the most years old I’ve ever been, and then Wednesday is my eight month ampuversary, which is my biggest ampuversary ever. ‘Mum,’ I said, ‘I know you’re really busy, and I don’t want you going to loads of trouble just for a ragged old mutt like me, so if you want to combine my two parties into one, then honestly I totally understand. I mean, we’d obviously do separate presents and cakes, and steaks of course on Monday and Wednesday, but you don’t need to plan two parties as well. We could just have one great big massive one, an Ampu-birthday celebration and invite all my superstar megafriends, and honestly I won’t be upset.’
Well I thought she’d be pleased to see she’d raised such a considerate, thoughtful dog. Meg, she’d say, I’m so proud of you. Thinking of others before yourself. Here, have a piece of chicken. Instead, she’s just sat there staring at me, like what are you talking about! ‘Meg,’ she says, eventually.’I told you. I’m going away!’
I thought it was a wind up, I honestly did. I’m like pull the other one!
‘I told you,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to work. There’s bills to pay.’ Like that’s some sort of excuse. ‘I’m going to Wales. I told you, Meg.’
‘Wales!’ I said. ‘Can I come too?’ Wales is my favourite place in the world. It’s full of sheep and mountains and lakes and sheep. Did I mention the sheep?
‘No,’ she said. ‘You know you can’t. And don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Stop it.’
‘I’m not,’ I said.
‘Not what?’ she said.
‘I’m not thinking about sheep,’ I said. And she looked at me like gotcha.
‘You’re missing my Ampu-Birthday,’ I said.
Then we argued some more but she wouldn’t budge. ‘I’ll make it up to you,’ she said.
‘You’re missing my Ampu-Birthday,’ I said. ‘How can you ever make up for that?’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Meg,’ she said. ‘Look, I can’t help it! I’m sorry, okay, but I really can’t help it. I’ve got to go and you can’t come with me and that’s all there is to it, so just stop going on. And besides,’ she said, ‘an Ampu-Birthday’s not even a thing, okay?’
Which is wrong, cos it is. It most definitely is. An Ampu-Birthday is definitely a thing.
To be continued…
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I’m with you Meg – an Ampu-Birthday is absolutely a thing! I wish you many, many more!
Teri and Isa
Thank you, Teri. I shall add your signature and Isa’s to my petition.
Love Meg xxx
Meg this is what’s called being between a rock and a hard place. You’re the Rock and Mums in the hard place. I’ve got to say though my money’s on you. No way will she not have a celebration of these two monumental events. Maybe sweet Meg you could compromise a bit and wait for your celebration for a weekend when Moms off. Can hardly wait for the next installment of Ampu-Birthday.
PS maybe it would help to get Elsie on your side. Two against one you know 😀
And PS look at that face. Who could EVER say no to that face! You sure are a beauty there Meg!
Thank you, Linda. That is an excellent suggestion to join forces with Elsie. I shall let you know how get on in my next post. In the meantime I will be adding your signature to my ampubirthday petition.
Love Meg xxx
That face!!!!!
I will take that as a vote for the party Superkylie, and will be adding your name to my petition. Many thanks for your support.
Love Meg xxx
I am with you Meg. Happy Ampu birthday. Gotta have 2 big parties then when mom comes back from working
xoxoxo
Michelle & Angel Sassy
I am delighted to see I have such great support, though not at all surprised, Michelle, as you have always struck me as the true voice of reason. I will add your name to my petition.
Love Meg xxx
Meg, steel duh keez 2 mum’s carr. Problum solvd. No carr, no trip 2 wales! Happee ampu burthday! Jus celuhbrayted my 11 munf ampuversuhree yesturday!
Cheerz!
Yur pal Gizmo
Dear Gizmo, as ever, you get straight to the heart of the problem and come up with a solution. You are such a clever, clever boy and you have the most wonderful ears. Happy ampuversary! 11 months is a massive achievement. I hope you had the biggest party ever. If not, have a word with your folks…
Love Meg xxx
PS I am adding you name to my party petition.
Started smiling when I first saw that spectacular photo of you surfing tne waves with your shiny red ball at the beach!
And my smile got bigger a d bigger and my chuckles got louder and louder as I read all about your Ampu-birthday dilemma!
Look, we KNOW how much your Mum loves you…and you know it too, that’s why you’re “milking” this for all it’s worth!
Nooo waaay she could ignore your pleas! Nooo waaay she coud ignore this monumental week!!
And ya’ know what? Your extended Tripawd Family will be celebrating all week!! In fact, we’ll spread out the celebration pawty for EIGHT DAYS!!! Get it??’ EIGHT? Yeah, a very special number for a very girl!! 🙂
CAKE! ICE CREAM!!! SHEEP (no, not to eat…to run with!)! STEAK!!!
So you can pawty with us even if your Mum does have the audacity to go off to Wales!! Umph! Wales kr pawty?? No contest!! Silly humans can just be so rude sometimes!! And Elsie can pawty with us too!!
Thank you so much for this update AND WONDERFUL PICTURES! You ALWAYS make us smile!! And we smile extra big because we know, one way or another, your gonna have a big EIGHT AMP- BIRTHDAY!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Lots of love!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Dear Sally, thank you so much for your support. I really don’t know what I’d do without you cos you really seem to understand and sympathise. Mum doesn’t 🙁 I know you would never abandon Frankie and Myrtle and go off to Wales for their birthday. No, you’d give them ice cream and cake and whatever they wanted. I know you would. I will be adding your name and Happy Hannah’s and Merry Myrtle’s and Frankie’s too to my birthday party petition.
Love Meg xxx
PS…GIZMO has a grat sowushun!! 🙂 🙂
And thirteen months Gizmo, WOW! Where’s your blog update!!
Hey Meg, if this thing (which is real) doesn’t go through) how about flying over to Vancouver Island in Canada for your party week. I’ll let you chase my brother cat around the house and play with my laser light. There are always deer in my yard but it’s not safe to chase them but you can swat there legs. We can go to the beach and swim with the seals. There are mountains, cougars, bears and elk so we’ll have to play it safe when we explore. I’ll make sure you get back before Mum gets back from Wales. She’ll never know… Oh, we have whales too.
Tripawd Kitty Mona
Hi Kerstein, Thank you for the invitation. I would love to come to Vancouver. It sounds like paradise. I’ll email you my time of arrival. Can’t wait!
Love Meg xxx
KERREN. Autocorrect grrrr