How to Make a MegaStar

People are always asking me what I am. I’m a MegaStar, I tell them. But what are you, they say. How d’you mean? I say. I told you, I’m a MegaStar. But… they say. But what? I say. Nothing, they say, and that’s the end of that.

The thing is, I know what they want to know, and why. I just don’t let on. They want to know what my ingredients are, all the special things you need to put in the pot and mix together to come up with one of me.

One of me

Well, I never paid very much attention, to be honest. A MegaStar is a MegaStar and it’s a very rare and very special thing to be, and it’s so rare there’s only one the world and I’m just incredibly MegaLucky that that one and only MegaStar just happens to be me. All the same, I do find that as I get older, I’m developing more of an interest in my family history. So when Mum offered to do me a DNA test, I said okay, why not? Apart from anything else, I said, there ought to be a record. A MegaStar’s genetics are matter of supreme historical, cultural, aesthetic and scientific importance.

So she sent off a cheek swab, and this is what came back:

 

Now, lest there be any doubters amongst you, I should perhaps add, that Mum has had my DNA tested twice before (twice!), in an effort to understand my behaviour (her words), which is frankly bizarre, as my behaviour has never been anything other than entirely understandable, and if anyone’s DNA needed testing for behavioural clues, I’d respectfully suggest that it’s her DNA, not mine. Anyway, leaving that aside… my Rottweiler parentage has come up in all three tests, so I think we can call that conclusive. For some reason people seem to find this amusing, I have no idea why. In my youth, it is true that my Rottweiler genes were perhaps closer to the surface. Here’s a picture of me from the early days, not long after Mum adopted me, when I was about a year old…

Me, during my first Winter with Mum

I have changed in appearance considerably to become the dog you know and love today. My leg’s the least of it:

The dog you know and love today

I believe the Rottweiler was my mother because though, sadly, I cannot remember her face, I do have a deep buried memory (I think it is a memory, not just a dream) of being nursed by a majestic creature, and a red muzzle licking me clean.

My other components are harder to picture, and I have no recollection of my father at all, so Mum did me a family tree, with pictures, including a guess at what my father might have looked like. I stared long and hard into his soft, grey face and imagined how astonished, and delighted he’d be, to know he had a MegaStar for a daughter.

 

My Family Tree

And then, of course, Elsie got all jealous cause Mum hadn’t done a tree for her and even though it’s like the most totally obvious thing in the whole world ever, and even though it’s so obvious, she never even needed a DNA test, Mum still did Elsie a family tree, which is here, and I haven’t changed it at all, cause I wouldn’t, not at all, I mean obviously, not at all, so this is Elsie’s family tree:

Elsie’s Family Tree

But they didn’t just test for my ancestors, but for my health markers too, which is really why Mum did it, and it turns out  I am totally clear of all the genetic disease markers they test for. Except they haven’t yet found the gene for IOHC, which I do have, and I wish they would, and maybe now they’ve got my DNA, that will help them find it.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a MegaStar – or how you avoid making one, says Mum, which is really mean, but she’s only joking. I mean, obviously she’s only joking. You’re only joking, aren’t you, Mum? Mum???

10 thoughts on “How to Make a MegaStar”

  1. Meg is back!! Yes, you are a megastar, you absolutely are!! And that has nothing to do with your ancestry I’m sure. (I mean, Rotties are majestic and it’s not Megesty after all, although hang on: that would be so fitting too!! Don’t you think?!??)
    Oh and Meg: are you sure you used to look like that? How can you look so completely different today? Huh? But either way, you’re gorgeous and you know it.
    Manni had his family tree checked as well and he supposedly comes from a line of Border Terriers, pugs and chihuahuas…. erm, maybe not. Oh and Meg: that was not nice thing to do to Elsie’s family tree! It really wasn’t!! Bad girl!
    Good to see you, star-girl!! Come back soon!

  2. Thank you, Tina. I am so pleased you recognise my Megestic qualities. It is me, I promise, and I know I look different. Mum says the same. I didn’t even have long hair. It grew when I found my forever home with Elsie and Mum and started to be happy.
    I hope you are well, and Manni too.
    Love Meg xxx

  3. Yes, I did laugh to see 50% Rottweiller and it is clear in the eyes/eye brows and ears in your puppy photo. What makes me howl is imagining how your father was able to reach your mother to make you. I suspect he was very smart and used a ladder. You inherited your smarts from him.

    It’s great to see your winter photos.
    Kerren and Tripawd Kitty Mona

    1. It is true, Kerren, I do love climbing things (sheds, trees, dining tables). I must have inherited this skill from my Dad.
      Love Meg xxx

  4. Oh Miss Meg! It must be that 9.1% Supermutt that sets you apart and allows you to be the Megastar. I do see the Rottie in your early picture around the forehead. I must admit you have aged brilliantly! Prettier everyday! Now Meg are you sure you didn’t umm alter Elsie Pies tree just a smidge? Remember kindness to others comes back with great rewards ie: a trip to the sea or something equally fun. An apology might be just the ticket here. Sweet Elsie has feelings too. Thank you all your post has made my day! Love to you all!

    1. I will try and remember, Linda, I promise. I do love Elsie, but I love to tease her too. I will try and follow your example, as you are always so kind to us.
      Lots of love,
      from Meg xxx

  5. Meg, girl, you are back !!!
    AND now we have your family tree too!
    I love your super mutt father with his cape, flying through the air and, yup, you sure are magestic and noble like your Rottweiler Dad.
    GREAT genes combination, you could only be a true Megastar !
    But poor Elsie pie compared with a pig … don’t think her family tree will make her go on a diet, though … Elsie loves her food to much, right?
    Sending you lots of tummy rubs, girl and ear scratches to Elsie too and kisses to your Mommy xxx

    1. Hi Eurydice! Thanks for visiting my blog. I must admit, I am very proud to be descended from a Supermutt! I just wish I’d inherited his cape because then I could fly down to the South of France to play on the beach with you!

      Sending lots of love to you and you Mum.

      Meg xxx

  6. LAUGHING SOOOO HARD!!!! OMD!!! I’M IN TEARS!!!! The best kind of tears…HAPPY TEARS!!!

    You are a MEGASTAR…and there is only ONE MEGASTAR. You are a MEGASTAR AMBASSADOR OF JOY! 🙂

    I’m sooo glad you made time to post! I know you are busy having fun and it also takes time to do all this typing with three paws!! Oh my, your creativity and wit are such a special gift! 🙂 🙂 Yes, a very, very special gift that you are kind enough to share with us!

    And your pictures always make us smile!! Only a MEGASTAR can romp in the rain and mud and get soaking wet swimming…And still look GORGEOUS!! 🙂

    To see a picture of you in yiur “younger” days and to see you now astounds me! The differences are unbelievable!! Really! Quite amazing to see the differences!

    And then we get to yiur famiky tree. Yes, your younger self does show characteristics of your Rottie mom. And then we have your Dad! Yes, he is quite a “combo”! Clearly his Mom (your Granny), must have had a variety of husband’s in order to give birth to such a…er….uniquely handsome stud muffin like your Dad! 🙂

    And then scrolling down to ELISE’s family tree…..SPEECHLESS!!!! 🙂 Absolutely laughing hysterically! 🙂 BRILLIANT!!! 🙂 Leaves no doubt who her parents were!! 🙂 Cannot believe anyone would think for one second that you tweaked her results! No, not you! 🙂

    TRULY, you have no idea how could it is to hear from you! 🙂 You DO feel the love, right? We ALL love you and Elsie Pie and your Mum!!! 🙂

    Thanks for bringJOY to all of us 🙂

    LOVE!!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Frankie too!

    1. Oh Sally, you are so lovely. You always make me feel happy. I knew you’d believe me that I didn’t change Elsie’s results. You know I’d never do a thing like that. You know I wouldn’t.
      Thank you for believing in me.

      Love Meg xxx

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